


Something to be Measured

by skimmingthesurface, SylviaW1991



Series: Mystery Best Friends Side Stories [6]
Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Aged!Twins, Fluff, M/M, Mystery Best Friends, Nerds in Love, Pinescone Week 2019, Time Travel, awkward teen romance, pinescone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 13:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21119234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skimmingthesurface/pseuds/skimmingthesurface, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylviaW1991/pseuds/SylviaW1991
Summary: For Pinescone Week 2019Day 1: PicnicAn excerpt from Mystery Best Friends part 5It's the summer before their senior year, and the Mystery Best Friends are delighted to spend every day of it together amidst the weirdness that surrounds Gravity Falls. Sometimes though, it's nice to have a day without weirdness, especially when you worry as much as Wirt does, and the Mystery Shack's annual summer carnival seems like just the normal summer fun this young, reunited couple needs. In typical Gravity Falls fashion, however, a day without weirdness is a little too much to ask for.





	Something to be Measured

**Author's Note:**

> We know it's been a while, but we're back with a little addition to the MBF verse for you guys! We still haven't written anything new for this universe in a while, but we had this chapter from part 5 that works pretty well as a standalone piece and skimmingthesurface thought it would be nice to edit and put out for Pinescone Week 2019, with Syl's approval of course.
> 
> Part 5 is set the summer immediately after the side story "Text Messaging Rates May Apply," or several months after the events of "Radio Silence." This excerpt was originally chapter 4 in part 5, so set about a week into Wirt and Greg arriving in Gravity Falls for the summer. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> \---
> 
> “Because Time is not something to be measured with the eyes, but by the Heart, it's never too late to go and change.”  
― Ana Claudia Antunes

“Grunkle Stan, no, seriously. Half this stuff isn’t even safe.”

“Half of it is still better than last year.”

“Last year-” Dipper ducked to avoid getting smacked in the face by a board when his great-uncle turned to look his way. “Last year, the Shack caught on fire.”

“Hey! That fire was put out before anybody important got hurt.”

“You caught  _ me  _ on fire. Not to mention the  _ mayor_.”

“Tyler had it coming,” he huffed, and Dipper had to duck again when he turned away.

“Okay, but why are you not letting me and Soos make, y’know, some safety improvements? Or Grunkle Ford! With all three of us, you might not have to give away some of your profits to Sheriff Blubs in bribe money.”

“Blubs takes less than you three would on making things,” he shifted his supplies so he could visibly quote with his fingers, “‘safe’ and ‘legal.’”

“You think some safe and legal wouldn’t be at least a little welcome? Seriously?!” Dipper threw his hands skyward just as one of the carts that was supposed to be able to zipline seamlessly from one end of the carnival to the other crashed onto a portion of the fence keeping the petting zoo contained. Uncle and nephew watched the cacophony of animals run amok. One of the booths went up in flames almost immediately.

The only animal left behind, Gompers blinked his strange eyes and ducked his head to tug at some grass.

Grunkle Stan shrugged. “It’ll sort itself out.”

“Grunkle Stan!”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“Yes!”

“Just do it cheaply. Very cheaply.” His eyes narrowed a bit. “I’m not giving you any cash.”

“Fine, Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Ford has plenty of stuff in the basement anyway.”

“Peh.”

Grinning, Dipper darted for the Shack and very nearly collided with his boyfriend, having to grab his arms and spin them both a bit to come to a stop that didn’t end with them both flat on the floor. “Oh my god,  _ why _ are you standing at the door?”

“Well, it’s not like I thought you were going to come charging at me,” Wirt defended, clutching at Dipper’s shirt to give himself some sort of anchor. “And I’m not- I’m not ‘standing at the door.’ I was coming  _ out  _ the door, looking for you. Where were you?”

“I was arguing with Grunkle Stan and something’s already on fire, so I won the argument.” He grinned, shrugging. 

Trepidation crossed Wirt’s features as he pursed his lips, craning his neck to the side a bit to peer over Dipper’s shoulder to take in the damage so far. “Yeah… I think I’m going to stay in the attic. Barricade myself where it’s safe and fire free.”

“No, come on.” Dipper tugged him closer, shifting his hat to the side to rub their noses together. “I’m about to get Grunkle Ford and Soos. You know we’ll have the place functioning by tomorrow. Fire free zone, I promise.”

Wirt’s nose scrunched reflexively, cheeks puffed out in an attempt to resist giving in to him completely. He did want to actually enjoy the fair with his boyfriend and had really been looking forward to it before all the horror stories the twins had shared. A part of him that wanted to spend the afternoon amidst the carnival attractions, food, and atmosphere tugged at his heart more insistently than the part that wanted to stay as far away from the surprisingly flammable booths as possible.

His shoulders sagged as he released a small huff of a sigh. “That a rock fact?” Wirt raised an eyebrow, still eyeing Dipper suspiciously despite already having given in. 

Dipper brushed his lips over his boyfriend’s. “A one hundred percent true one. Now come on. You can help me convince Grunkle Ford that he does want to help make the carnival a success because, y’know, what if the Shack catches on fire? His help is the only thing protecting us, blahblahblah. He probably won’t buy it, but we’re going for it anyway.”

\----

He hadn’t bought it, but Dipper blamed that on Wirt’s inability to hold onto an expression other than nerves. And Ford just being smart didn’t quite help things either. But he did agree to help and because Melody was in town in time for the carnival, Soos ended up being reliable help. So by the next morning, the rickety carnival gleamed and Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were very disappointed to find that they weren’t going to be getting paid that year.

Dipper was just relieved that he or his boyfriend weren’t going to end up on fire. It was very important that he didn’t end up on fire and chucked in the dunk tank two years in a row. There had to at least be a buffer between horrible instances.

As the four members of the Mystery Best Friends stood at the official entrance an hour before opening, Mabel threw her hands into the air and waved them excitedly. “This is going to be the best carnival ever!”

Dipper grinned. “Grunkle Ford and I even had enough time to make hovering bumper cars. With airbags just in case.”

Greg gasped, eyes rounding as his face lit up. “You mean I’ll get to drive an actual, for real hover car and Jason Funderburker can finally achieve his dreams of being the world’s first frog to be in a floating vehicle?” The amphibian in question was held out to Dipper.

Wirt narrowed his gaze slightly, he and the frog engaged in a short staring contest. “Since when has Jason Funderburker’s dream been to ride in a floating car?”

“Since now. Actually about fifteen seconds ago,” Greg amended.

“Frogs have grand dreams, Wirt. They’re always changing,” Mabel put in.

Dipper rolled his eyes, but gave the frog a pat anyway. “You and Jason Funderburker can absolutely ride in the bumper cars.”

“Are you and Wirt gonna go on the ferris wheel?” Mabel teased, jabbing her elbow into his side.

He leaned away from her, cheeks pinkening. “Maybe.”

“Oh.” Wirt was sporting a matching blush, lips quirking up as he glanced away. “Well, I was, you know, kinda hoping that we would.” His tone turned wistful. “Like we’d go up around sunset when all the lights are coming on, and then when we’re at the top- oh, I don’t know. I guess if you’re not sure…”

“What? No, I’m- Yeah, I want to ride it with you. I’m just-”

“Embarrassed.”

“Shut up, Mabel.”

Wirt’s small smile because a full-out grin as he bumped his hip to Dipper’s. “I’m just messing with you. I know what that ‘maybe’ meant.”

“Oh my god, don’t do that to me.” Though he huffed, Dipper banded an arm around Wirt’s waist to keep him close. “See if I try and win you some awful stuffed animals, babe.”

“You know, that’s only incentive for me to keep it up. You’re not seriously going to win me stuffed animals, are you?” 

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't win you something totally dumb?” Dipper kissed his cheek, embarrassment fading into wicked glee. “I’ll even let you pick.”

“None of them. I pick none of them.”

“Get him something that looks like a bear!” Greg chimed in, tucking Jason Funderburker under one arm as he gestured widely with the other. “Or a bird! Or a unicorn! Or a bear-bird-unicorn! A beardicorn!”

“You know, if Wirt doesn’t pick for himself, I’m totally getting him a beardicorn. It’s settled.”

Mabel giggled. “I bet I could make a beardicorn. Give me twenty minutes.”

Wirt snorted, fighting the smile the mental image conjured, and Greg bounced on the balls of his feet. “Can you make me one, too, Mabel? Everyone should have at least one beardicorn in their lifetime!”

“Thought you wanted to ride rides and play games, Greg. Beardicorns can come later.” Wirt raised an eyebrow, leaning into Dipper.

Greg plastered on a serious expression. “You’re right, Wirt. Priorities.”

“Exactly.”

“Just try and avoid Toby Determined’s booth. Unlike frog dreams, his are just... scary.” Mabel shuddered.

“Razzle dazzle,” Dipper teased, tipping his head to rest his cheek on Wirt’s shoulder. Only for a moment, though, eager to be underway. “Come on, pilgrim. We fixed the sky carts, and I want to give them a go before more people show up.” They’d tinted the windows so riders could see out, but no one else could see in, so he wanted to steal as many kisses as he could get.

“Earlier you said you fixed the sky carts, and we watched one fall on the cotton candy booth,” Wirt reminded him. 

“This time, I had help. The cotton candy is safe, I promise. Probably the other booths too.” Grinning, he grabbed his hand to tug him away. “Just trust me.”

Wirt snorted, shaking his head a little as he let himself be led. “You know I do. Even if it's against my better judgment.”

“Pssh. Trusting me is always the better judgment.” They climbed a curving set of stairs hand in hand, Dipper swiping a remote control from a small control room that hadn't been there the day before. There was a definite reason why Dipper hadn’t made it to bed before three.

He hit a button, the door of the cart before them swinging open. He grinned at his boyfriend. “After you, babe.”

“Mmhm. No, I see how it is. Making me go first in case it all comes crashing down, huh?” Wirt flashed him a grin before stepping into the gondola.

He gasped. “You're not supposed to figure out the plan.” Laughing, Dipper stepped in after him, taking the seat beside him rather than across. “But we tested them with Soos inside, so I know they're secure.” He hit two buttons - one to close the door and one to start the path around the carnival. Not only was it safer, they'd made it larger to match Grunkle Stan's grandiose advertising.

Wirt waited for him to settle before scooting closer to him, draping an arm around his shoulder. “I'm sure you made it safe. I like what you've done with it. It's nice. Good job.” He leaned in, rubbing their noses together.

Delighted by both the praise and nearness of his boyfriend, Dipper grinned and curled his fingers loosely into the sweater fabric above his heart. “Thanks. I just wanted to make sure we would have a good day. I don’t want to risk you.” He brushed their lips together. “Boyfriend. My very pretty boyfriend,” he purred, kissing him again.

“Mm,” Wirt hummed as he attempted to deepen the kiss while the sky cart swayed and journeyed high above the fairgrounds, smile getting in the way, but he tried nonetheless. “And my smart, adorable boyfriend.”

“Oh my god.” Dipper nibbled on his lower lip, thrilled with the situation. “You’re so cute.”

“Shh,” he hushed, laughter breaking their kiss, but he made up for it by pressing his lips to Dipper’s jaw. 

“Mm-mm-mm. You shh.” He banded his arms around Wirt’s waist, nipping at his earlobe. “Jerk.”

“Brat,” Wirt laughed, but snuggled into him nonetheless, face hidden in his neck before he kissed it, soft at first, then gradually growing firmer until teeth and tongue joined lips to make a claim.

Dipper’s huff of a laugh was soft, grip tightening as Wirt’s mouth sent warmth spiraling through him. “You love me anyway.”

“Oh, most definitely,” Wirt hummed against his skin, flicking his tongue over the reddened mark, then placing a kiss to soothe. “My love for you is unconditional, you being a brat has little effect on that. Just as I’m sure me being a jerk doesn’t affect how much you love me, right?”

Dipper ducked his head to capture his lips. “Not even a little bit.”

Though he wanted to sink into it and let it spiral out, it was all too tempting to nip and nibble at his lips instead, keeping each kiss short and playful. “So there you go,” Wirt chuckled. “Not that that gives you an excuse to be extremely bratty or anything.”

“No, I think it’s the perfect excuse. I get to be a brat, and my boyfriend showers me with the love and attention I crave. It’s a great plan.”

“Not if you take advantage.” Wirt scooted away from him on the seat.

Dipper inched to him, arms snaking around him to tug him close. “What if I’m not a brat to you? Can I be a brat to everyone else?”

Wirt let out a laugh, pressing his lips together to try and smother the rest that wanted to spill out. “Why would you want to?” he asked as he flicked the bill of his hat.

“Stop poking holes in the things I say, oh my god.” Dipper ducked his head to hide his face in the curve of Wirt’s neck, skewing his cap even further. “Go back to telling me how you love me unconditionally and how impressed you are that we haven’t died yet.”

More laughter spilled out as Dipper tried to burrow against him, his breath tickling softly as he talked. “I love you,” Wirt appeased him with a grin. “Unconditionally. And I still really can’t believe we’re not dead yet. We are defying literal odds right now.”

“Well, I can’t let my favorite person just die. That’d be totally wrong.” Dipper nipped playfully at his neck, content to be as close as possible. And, while it had been a few days since fishing at the lake, he was still seeking to make up for that. He wanted to give Wirt a good, fun day. The kind of day that made this crazy small town fun in a way that didn’t have to involve the creatures that lived just beyond their property. “You’re too pretty to go, even though you can be a jerk.”

“I don’t mean to be a jerk. Someone’s gotta reign in your brattiness and I guess it’s up to me.” Wirt wrapped his arms around Dipper, stroking along his back as shivers traveled through his own courtesy of Dipper’s teeth. “But I know you’d never let me fall. Not on purpose with a metal death trap, anyway.” He pinched Dipper’s side, then rubbed his hip to soothe.

He laughed, squirming at the pinch. “You’re safe and sound with me, babe. I promise.”

Wirt claimed his lips in a sweet kiss. “I know.” He leaned back a little, staying wrapped up in his boyfriend, and turned to look out the window. “In all seriousness though, you really did an amazing job. And the view’s great. You can see the entire fair and the forest for miles.”

Dipper straightened enough to look out, grinning. “It was totally worth the work. The town’s gonna be shocked.” And they were starting to enter, Dipper able to make out some of the most familiar elements of the townsfolk. There would very likely be a few tour buses visiting too. “I really, really love it here.”

Wirt drew his gaze away from the window to take in his boyfriend. “Would you want to come here?” he asked, soft but curious. “After high school, like… permanently?”

“I don't know,” he admitted. “I know I don’t want to stay in California. That's never been home, not really, so this was the first place that ever felt... right. The only other place I've felt right in has been your town.”

Wirt nodded and his gaze wandered back to the window. It was quite picturesque, the beauty of nature around them, mountains and forests and rivers. As hesitant about these woods when he’d first come to visit a year before, he was warming up to them now. Still wary of what dwelled within them, but more… accepting of them. 

“There are schools out here that are relatively nearby,” he murmured. “You could visit on weekends.”

“I know.” Dipper took his hand, lifting it to his lips. “I've looked into a few of them, but it's way too far from Greg.”

“Yeah…” Wirt watched his lips ghost over the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to it. “I… I wouldn’t be able to do it. But- but if you wanted to… don’t feel like you have to compromise on anything you want, okay? If you went to a different school, that’s…” His heart lodged itself in his throat for a minute and he had to swallow past it. “I’d understand. I wouldn’t be… mad or anything.”

“Not mad, but probably upset. I'd be upset too. Seriously. We're really close to not having to split up again, man.” One more year. They could handle one more year of high school, but then he wanted Wirt close. “I love this stupid, crazy town and it's always felt like home. But... you feel like home, too. Wherever you are, I'm following. That's not holding myself back or compromising, okay? That's putting myself right where I want to be.”

“Yeah?” Wirt squeezed his hand. “You do, too. Feel like home. I just… Greg needs me near. Or maybe that's just me. Maybe I just need to be near him, but… I don't think I could leave him.”

“I'm not going to ask you to. I love Greg too, y’know.” Dipper poked his cheek as his sister might. “I want to be near both of you.” 

Wirt huffed out a laugh, ducking his head to escape the prodding. “I know. Just, you know, I want to make sure you know that you have options. I mean, you could go anywhere- and I don't just mean those ivy leagues your parents want you to look at, I mean you could literally go anywhere, so I don't want you to feel limited even though I really,  _ really _ just want to be with you and see you every day for more than a few weeks, but I love you and respect you and want you to be happy, if that's with me or not and I’m babbling, I know, so I’ll shut up now, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I like your babbling.” And he knew it was also coming from a place without all the facts. What Dipper had kept quiet, what he would continue keeping quiet, was that he simply didn’t want to go to college. He didn’t want to continue his education. He was only going so he could be with his boyfriend and his twin. It didn’t matter what his major was in, it didn’t matter what majors the school had available. It just had to be on the east coast and it had to accept both Wirt and Mabel because, well, he knew very well that he could go anywhere and to any school.

But there wasn’t a single person in his family who was likely to understand that, and he didn’t want to have any influence on what his boyfriend chose. “I know all about my options, okay? I do. Even Grunkle Ford’s been pushing me pamphlets because he wants to see me do better than he did.” And knowing the man he looked up to the most was going to be the one he inevitably let down the most hurt, but Wirt - the person he needed in his life most - was the one he wanted to be with. “But I want you. I’m choosing you. I want to wake up beside you every day. I want the ups and downs of normal with you, and not just, y’know, the paranormal. You’re so much more important to me than the school on a piece of paper.”

“No, I know. I know that. You are, too.” Wirt cupped his cheek, stroking along the curve with his thumb. “School… it doesn't really matter as long as I’m with you. With our family. Or with and nearby, in the case of our siblings unless we smuggle Greg in.”

Dipper laughed. “We'll absolutely smuggle Greg in. On the weekends where he's got an extra day off for a teacher duty day or something. And his birthday. We've got to spend his birthdays with him.”

“We will,” Wirt assured him. “We’ll skip class and drive all night if we have to, depending on where we are.” Something occurred to him that had his eyes lighting up. “And yours. I’ll get to spend your birthday with you. And- and Mabel! Both of you!”

Dipper blinked. “Oh my god, you're right. We're going to turn eighteen after college starts. You'll be there.” He cupped Wirt’s cheeks, stealing a quick kiss. “That's the best birthday present I've ever gotten, and it's more than a year away.”

“I’ll make sure it’s the best all around. I promise you, I’ll get you both your own cakes and everything,” he laughed, kissing him again through it. “Or I’ll bake them. Do you think the dorms will have a kitchen somewhere? We might have to find a school with a dorm with a kitchen somewhere.”

“We're not picking a school based on the kitchen options.” But the idea had Dipper letting out a giggle, muffled against Wirt's neck. “But I won't say no to you making us cake. Mabel definitely won't say no.”

“Well how am I supposed to bake you a cake if there's no kitchen?” Wirt rubbed Dipper’s back as he grinned. “I mean, unless your birthday is on a weekend and we can go home for it.”

“Hang on.” Dipper hummed, running the formula through his mind. “Mm. No dice. It'd be a Thursday, but that's okay. We can celebrate a little late.”

“No. No more belated things. Not if we're together. There's an easy solution, really. We’ll just have to celebrate twice.”

Dipper grinned, cupping his cheeks. “Can college just happen right now? I'm so tempted to get my hands on a time machine and make it happen now.”

“And skip our entire summer?” Wirt raised an eyebrow even as his cheeks warmed from the contact and had him melting on the inside. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

He rubbed their noses together, amused. “Okay, okay. So we'll have our summer, skip senior year, then have next summer. That would work for me.”

Wirt’s nose scrunched, not standing a chance against his laugh and the way Dipper nuzzled it. “Me too. As fond of you distance has made me, it's also made me really fond of the idea of not having to put up with distance any more. Or ever again.”

“This year we'll have to be on the lookout for more long weekends.” Dipper gave his right arm a fond pat. “And cars. But at least we know we can do it, last a school year apart.”

Wirt snorted, pinching Dipper’s side again. “I wouldn't quite call it a school year with all the times we saw each other. But… that break between February and May is going to be twice as tough knowing how long it can feel. I mean, we've got Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day, but… our spring breaks probably won't match up again.”

“That's true. But we made it through once. If you can do something once, you can do it twice.” Dipper shrugged. “Especially knowing there won't be any separation after that.”

Wirt hummed, watching the rare little gaps between them where their bodies weren’t touching. “I hope so. I mean, you’re completely worth it and I would do all of this over again in a heartbeat if it meant I got to be with you, but it’s… I miss you. And I want to see what we’re like together when we’re not counting down the days until we see each other again or, you know, painfully aware that our time is… is limited.”

Dipper hummed, shrugging. He couldn't really see them as being much different. They were both pitifully romantic, both completely stuck on one another. If something was going to break them apart, it would likely be something in Gravity Falls. “We'll just have to see what happens. I've got faith in us, pilgrim.” Even though he still had some secret secrets he'd rather not mention yet.

Wirt’s brow furrowed as he tried to process that in conjunction with what he’d said. “What? No, yeah, I do too. I just mean when we are together there's always this… cloud? Like okay, we have an extra two days together or an extra week or we've only got two weeks to be together so let's make the most of it. I want to be at the point where that's not an issue. I think I’ll always cherish my time with you, but I don't want it to be because we're going to be on opposite ends of the country. I want to see what we're like, like this, with no time limit. That's- that's all I meant.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. I get that, sorry. I'm overthinking.” Dipper shook his head. “I'd love not measuring what we can do to how much time we have to do it. That's gonna be really surreal.”

Wirt’s lips quirked up. “We'll be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. Going to class aside.” He toyed with the brim of Dipper’s cap. “We will have to pick a place that lets us request roommates though. That's essential.”

“Okay, that's a must. So east coast school, roommate selection, and optional kitchen for birthday cakes because you’re adorable. It's a good checklist so far.”

“What about…” Wirt ducked his head to press small, light kisses to Dipper’s jaw. “A history of paranormal activity because you're adorable?”

Dipper bit his lip, muffling his giggle. “Would you go on weekend ghost hunts with me?”

Wirt kissed his way to Dipper’s lips, running his tongue over the slight indents his teeth left behind. “Maybe,” he hummed. “You might have to convince me that that’s a good idea.”

“Boyfriend, you should go on ghost hunts with me because I'll hold your hand and kiss you if you get scared. And I'll keep you so, so safe.” He wriggled against him, the giddy sound slipping out despite himself. “And you can rub it in Greg’s face if we see ghosts when he's inevitably a brat, and then take him with us.”

“Is that what I’ll do?” he laughed, a firmer kiss pressed to smiling lips. “Sounds like you’ve got this all figured out already.”

“Hey, ghost hunts are cool.” Dipper nipped his lip playfully. “I've actually been debating whether or not to introduce Greg to an old couple Mabel and I know, but we've kind of stayed away since they're not altogether fond of teenagers. But they'd like Greg.”

“Yeah? And they’re- they’re safe? To be around.” Greg would love it, there was no doubt about it, but three out of the four of them were teenagers, after all, so that could potentially be an issue.

“They're totally safe for Greg, and they'd probably be safe for us as long as we avoided stereotypical teenager things like we did with Wendy's group the first time we went. And definitely don't give him smile-dip.” Dipper hummed. “None for Mabel either.”

“Smile-dip? Isn’t that stuff banned?” Wirt wrinkled his nose.

“For very good reason, yeah, but they've been haunting their old convenience store for a really long time. The stand used to be full, but Mabel had... a few packets.”

“I take it by your tone ‘a few’ doesn’t actually mean a few.” Wirt shifted in his seat as the sky tram started heading back to the platform. “Well, if you guys are up for it, providing we avoid the smile-dip, I think Greg and I would love to come with you to meet these convenience store ghosts.”

“We'll figure out a day to see if they still like me and Mabel even though we're teens now first. There’ll be other ghost opportunities in Gravity Falls. But today, carnival. I still have to win you something ridiculous.” Dipper bumped their shoulders together companionably. “And there may or may not be a tunnel of love I plan on taking you through.”

“What? Really?” Wirt blinked, fighting the blush that wanted to creep into his cheeks. “Oh my gosh. You’re going to milk this whole ‘couple at the carnival’ thing for all it’s worth, aren’t you?” Though he sounded nothing but pleased about the idea.

Dipper had wanted to milk couple at the carnival since he'd been twelve. The one time he'd come close had involved time travel and losing Waddles. This year wouldn’t require time travel - hopefully - since he already had the other half to his couple. Grin wry, eyes full of memory and secrets, Dipper leaned in to steal a kiss. “I didn't spend literally all day yesterday making this place awesome to not romance you in every single cheesey way there is.”

“Oh…” It slipped out of him like a sigh just before a swoon. “Oh, wow… um… I- I just thought it was because you wanted to work on a project with your grunkle Ford and Soos. Which was fine and I totally understood, but wow.” An embarrassed smile spread over Wirt’s lips, but even that didn’t dampen the delight in his eyes. “I’ve always wanted to be part of a couple at a carnival. Especially with you because… because I love you and I’ll feel that in our memories.”

Dipper squirmed a little, thrilled with him. He cupped his cheek, stealing a quick kiss since he was too giddy for the proper one he wanted. “I love you too, my very cute boyfriend.” The cart swung to a steady stop, the door opening. “Come on, babe. Let's go be a couple at a carnival.”

Wirt took his hand and let their fingers lace as they disembarked. “I thought I told you not to call me babe.”

“No, see, you only think you said that. What you actually said was it's the best pet name ever, and then you encouraged me to use it as much as possible.” Dipper hid his smile by pressing a kiss to Wirt's hand. “It's totally understandable that you'd get that confused.”

“You are a liar.” Wirt tried to maintain a straight face, but it failed as a traitorous giggle escaped him. “And if you think this is going to help woo me at the carnival, you’re very wrong.”

Though it didn’t really prevent Dipper from wooing him at the carnival either. While the pet name still made his stomach twist itself into embarrassing knots, Wirt had to admit - though he hated to do so - that it was actually… not growing on him, exactly, but becoming more… natural. He almost expected it to come out of his boyfriend’s mouth at this point, or at the very least didn’t find it out of the ordinary when it did. 

It was starting to become unsettling that it didn’t actually bother him as much as he wanted it to. He was against it, darn it. He would not be one of those ‘babe’ couples. He was not ‘babe’ and he would never be ‘babe’ and sure it was cute when Dipper said it and made him feel important and special, but pilgrim did that too. He didn’t need babe. It was infantile and gross and creepy.

Though… it was hard to see Dipper as gross or creepy, and he certainly wasn’t trying to compare Wirt to an actual, literal baby. It was impossible actually, his boyfriend sweeter than a candy apple. Especially when they were walking around the carnival hand in hand, pausing to check out the food stalls and the game booths, already trying to determine what strange, fluffy creatures to try and win one another. It was nice to see, Wirt realized. It was nice to experience a very normal, boyfriend thing without the supernatural hanging over their heads. He supposed that might’ve been why he was starting to feel differently about the pet names, too. Although…

“You could literally come up with anything else other than babe and I’d probably be more receptive to it. Except baby. Definitely not baby and definitely not boo.” Wirt nodded to himself as he reacted to yet another instant of being called babe in between the ring toss and the baseball bottles.

“No way. Baby doesn’t fit at all and I've never understood boo. Babe works.” Dipper kissed his cheek. He was getting used to it. “It's staying.”

“I will walk ten feet in front of you if you say it again. I’m not kidding,” Wirt warned him, lifting his hand to threaten to let go of it.

Dipper was more than ready to argue, but quickly thought better of it as he actually considered the scenario. “So what you're saying is I get to watch your really cute butt and unfairly nice legs?” He patted his heart, lips twitching. “Babe, you can walk in front of me anytime you want.”

Wirt choked on his own gasp, face flushing as he sputtered and stiffened. “I- no, that’s not- I- you’re impossible!” He dropped Dipper’s hand and hurried ahead if only to get some space to will the color out of his cheeks. He also tugged on the hem of his sweater, trying to stretch it down as low as it could go.

“Hey, brother o’ mine.” Greg waved from the corn dog stand, a question mark shaped pretzel already in one hand. “Why’re you turning your sweater into a dress?”

“It’s none of your business!”

Greg shrugged, both food items lifting to the air in a placating gesture. “Hey, I’m not here to judge your fashion choices.”

Dipper had to swallow a laugh, catching up to Wirt and wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him back. “I'm sorry. I'm just teasing you. I mean, I do absolutely think you're the cutest guy in the world, but I didn't seriously want you to walk away.”

“Yeah?” Wirt huffed, but stopped and leaned back against Dipper. “Well… who’s being the jerk now? Talking about- about things like that…” It was impossible to resist him though, especially when he was more embarrassed than angry. 

“Like what?” Greg took a huge bite out of his pretzel, then out of his corn dog. “Did he say, ‘I hate seeing you leave, but I love watching you go?’”

Wirt’s eyes went wide. “Greg, what? Oh my gosh, how do you even know that’s a thing?”

“I’ve seen things.” He shrugged, then took another bite, causing the rest of his pretzel to fall off its stick. “Aw beans.”

Dipper chuckled, pressing a kiss to Wirt's neck. “I'll get you a new one, shortstop. You want one, babe?”

Though still baffled by his brother, Wirt nodded and followed Dipper over to the stand. “Sure. Um… where’s Mabel?”

“Getting cotton candy. We decided to split this mission in half!” Greg ripped the rest of his corn dog in two, leaving one half on the stick and the other half to nibble on himself while he hurried after them. “See? This is her half.”

“Wait a second. Pretzel, corn dog, and cotton candy all at the same time? It’s not even noon yet.” Wirt raised an eyebrow.

“So? It’s carnival day! There’re no rules here!”

Dipper grinned, ruffling his hair before digging out his wallet. Even the relatives couldn't get out of paying when Grunkle Stan was in charge. Unless you were Mabel, who came back with two cotton candies. Dipper was quick to commandeer one, passing it to Wirt. “Mabel, don't let Greg make himself sick.”

“Pssh. I would never.” 

“Mabel knows we’ve got lots to accomplish and getting sick is definitely not on the menu.” Greg lifted his chin up and puffed out his chest, then spun to face Mabel as he bounced excitedly. “Can we go on the spinning vortex of terror after this?”

Wirt huffed out a laugh as he pulled a piece of the pink fluff from the cone. “Greg, please do your best to make sure you don’t make Mabel sick either.”

Greg scoffed. “Perish the thought, brother o’ mine.”

“We've got a system.” She traded the corn dog for the cotton candy. “But yes to the vortex. What are you waffles headed for?”

“I've still got to win Wirt something weird, and then we'll probably find our way to the tunnel of love.”

“And maybe one of those spinning rides before we grab something for lunch that’s a little more substantial than cotton candy.” Though Wirt did enjoy the way the sugar melted in his mouth, picking more threads of it carefully to avoid getting his fingers too sticky.

“I want to win a pig like Mabel did that one time! Oh! And can we all do bumper cars together?” Greg asked, uncaring about how sticky he got, mouth already stained with the flecks of pink sugar.

Dipper laughed, slipping an arm around Wirt’s waist. “Yeah, that sounds good. We definitely need to do rides together.”

“Absolutely! And maybe...”

Recognizing the mischief in her eyes, Dipper quickly shook his head. “No. I already told you no.”

“But Dipper-”

“No.” They could have one day where something crazy didn’t happen. Just one. So far, so good. “Not this time.”

Wirt and Greg exchanged glances, one with a little more trepidation than the other, but both turned to the twins with equal suspicion. “What are you guys talking about?” Wirt asked. 

“Are you hiding a super secret adventure from us?” Greg grinned.

“No, and if you see someone named Blendin, avoid him.”

“Oh, we already did.”

“Okay. One second. Just hang on. I'll just be- We'll just be one second.” Dipper immediately latched onto her arm to drag her away from the brothers. Hidden between two booths, he held out his hand. “No. Give it.”

“Aw, but Dipper, it'd be so much fun!”

“I'm serious, Mabel. Not today.”

She sighed gustily, but retrieved a nondescript tape measurer out of her pocket and pressed it into his outstretched palm. “After I went through all the trouble of stealing it off Blendin’s belt.”

“I'm going to give it back to him. It's not happening.”

“Fine, oh my gosh. Where's your adventurous spirit?”

Hiding so he could keep Wirt close. He didn’t want to scare him away. He didn’t want to overwhelm him. Things that were normal for Dipper weren’t normal for other people, and definitely not for Wirt. Some of his normal summer rounds had been pushed back in favor of making sure that Wirt was safe and comfortable in the wild town. Heck, he'd spent the majority of the day before turning their broken down and duct taped carnival into a respectful, safe place. He wanted it to stay that way.

“My adventurous spirit’s just fine. But I'm still giving this back to Blendin after the tunnel.”

She groaned, but followed him back to the other two. She sighed dramatically. “Never mind. Dipper took my only source of fun.”

“We're at a carnival,” he protested.

“My only source!”

“Oh, um… okay?” Wirt glanced between them, uncertain. “Sorry, Mabel.”

“Aw, it's okay, Mabel. We’ll still have a ton of fun carnival adventures!” Greg sought to reassure her. “We’re the Mystery Best Friends! We can do anything.”

“You bet we can!” Mabel giggled, giving him a high five.

Dipper just shook his head and pressed a kiss to Wirt's cheek, arm going around his waist. “Come on, my poetic pilgrim. You should let me kiss you in the tunnel of love while these two try not to get sick on the vortex.”

“Okay. Um… see you guys in a bit.” Wirt waved as their siblings consumed the rest of their treats on their way to exploring the rest of the carnival. “What was the fun thing she wanted to do?”

“She says fun because she's crazy. It's been dangerous every time we've done it. I mean, messing with timelines is ridiculous. There are so many different ones already that adding to it just destabilizes the whole thing and if time travel isn't handled appropriately, eventually all timelines will converge and collapse as a result, and chances of it happening are admittedly super low with, like, the time squad and Time Baby handling things, but-” Dipper stopped and blinked at him. “I think the very easy answer you were looking for is time travel.”

“What?” Wirt gaped at him. “Time travel? Are you-? Did she ask to have a time travel attraction in a carnival?”

“No. Blendin comes every year and Mabel and I usually get him to take us places because after you almost cause an apocalypse together, you're basically friends forever.” Dipper shrugged. “She just stole his time machine, and I'm going to give it back after the tunnel.”

“You… you have the time machine on you?” Wirt gave him a once-over, still wide-eyed. “So it’s- it’s not like a car or something big?”

“That's just dramatic effect for pop culture. Time machines need to be as discreet as the people tasked worth operating them.” Dipper removed the tape measure from his pocket to show him. “The first summer we were here, we managed to steal this off Blendin. I misjudged a throw on the glass bottles and ended up giving Wendy a pretty bad black eye, so I had to try and fix it. Mabel ended up giving pioneers a calculator and a few other small things may have happened throughout time that day.” He shrugged, smile sheepish. “So, yeah, trying to avoid time anomalies this year.”

“Oh…” Wirt blinked at the small device, then met Dipper’s gaze as the shock faded. “Does… that mean you’re going to avoid giving me a black eye when you play the carnival games to win me whatever stuffed animal you think is weird enough?”

“Giving Wendy a black eye is basically the whole reason why I started pitching. I worked out this whole formula of exactly how to throw the ball so she wouldn't get hit.” And so Robbie wouldn’t have a chance to ask her out, but Dipper wasn’t planning on telling his current boyfriend past crush woes. “My aim’s gotten much better after four years.” Dipper tucked the time machine back into his pocket and brushed his lips over Wirt’s. “Your pretty eyes are safe.”

“I might just trust you then,” Wirt chuckled, rubbing their noses together when the kiss ended. “Though, I’ve got to wonder what other amazing talents of yours we’d uncover at the other carnival games if you time traveled to fix all your failed efforts.”

“One of these days, I'm going to tell you about Globnar.” Dipper laced their fingers together, leading him to the tunnel of love. “So please be kind to the amount of sap packed into this. This is the first year it doesn’t have corn dogs all over it since I didn’t think you'd find those very romantic.”

“Wait- you mean you designed it completely? You put all the love in the tunnel of love?” Wirt was so in awe of him, he almost forgot to drop the cone from the cotton candy in a trash bin they passed by before they walked onto the ride. “Dipper, that’s really… that’s really sweet.”

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks pink. “Well, I mean... I love you. It was worth it to me to spend, um, a little extra time on it.” About an hour. Two. Close to three. Wirt didn’t need to know the time frame or the fact that he'd had a few freakouts designing the thing. He hadn't been able to do much with the boats, not wanting to overdo things but still not wanting the carts to look like freaking corn dogs. He let Wirt enter the little cart for two first, happy to slide in next to him. The end of the measuring tape snagged on the platform when he sank down and scooted close, neither noticing it.

Wirt’s smile seemed torn between shy and amused, his heart and stomach fluttering as the cart started to move. They were really going on a tunnel of love. One that his boyfriend designed especially for the two of them. Wirt could care less how cheesy it was, he'd love every second of it and every inch of the boy beside him.

“I love you.” Wirt bumped their shoulders together, then hesitantly wrapped his arm around Dipper’s shoulders to keep him close, only a little awkward with his fidgeting. 

Dipper laughed, snuggling as close as he could get. “I love you too. You’re seriously adorable.” He captured his lips in a warm kiss as they entered the tunnel, but it broke on a gasp when he recognized the too-familiar zipping sound. “Oh no,” he breathed, the tape snapping back into the container with a loud  _ snap_. Almost immediately, they were encased in a flash of white light and they were gone.

\----

Years and years and years before the carnival had even been conceived as a way to scam people out of their money with unfair attractions, Dipper and Wirt landed smack in the middle of a snow bank. The icy cold seeped through the seat of their pants as they flailed and fell back. The snow was powdery and soft, freshly fallen, so they sank into it a good inch or two before they were able to scramble out of it.

Wirt got to his feet first, taking hold of Dipper’s hands to pull him free of the snow. “Where are we?” he wheezed, gaze flitting from point to point across the frozen wasteland.

“No, see, the question is  _ when _ are-” Dipper broke off at Wirt’s hard stare. “Okay, yeah. You know what, nevermind. That's a... yeah, I'll just-”

“Quit while you're ahead.”

“Yeah, got it.” He shrugged, unable to completely smother his smile. “But that is the question. We're in the same spot since that's not how the base model time machine works.”

“But you know what I mean when I say ‘where!’” Dipper’s smile was not reassuring in the slightest. Wirt dragged his fingers through his hair, brushing the clumps of snow from it. “Fine, okay. When are we? Can it even tell us that?”

“Sort of. Um. Not really. You kind of have to see it before you let the tape go.” Dipper tapped the small time machine, humming as he looked around. “Maybe we should look around a bit and try to figure out the time.”

Wirt pursed his lips to keep them from trembling, the cold registering the longer they stood there. “Everything’s covered in snow, Dipper. How are we supposed to figure out what time it is if everything’s buried in six feet of snow and ice?” he pointed out as he folded his arms across his chest to try and keep warm. “Also, that seems like a very faulty design for a time machine. You’d think if people were smart enough to create a time machine, they’d be smart enough to figure out a way for you to tell the time you just traveled to- what was that?”

It felt like the snow was rumbling beneath his feet. Something was creating vibrations through the ground. Wirt huddled closer to Dipper, but kept his hands tucked under his arms. His eyes gave another sweep of the area, freezing on a large, shadowy lump in the distance.

“Oh my gosh.” Whatever it was, it was moving. “Do I want to know what that is? I don’t think I want to know what that is. Let’s run far away from it.” Wirt reached out to tug on Dipper’s shirtsleeve.

“Okay, neither of us would make it very far in what we're wearing. Like, my sneakers are basically soaked.” Dipper tugged out a strip of tape, using his thumb to mark it. “So I think we hold out until it's closer. It might help me figure out what time frame we're in so I can get us home without snapping us too far into the future. The less we skip around, the less likely we are to end up in a lizard people future.”

Wirt turned to him with wide, horrified eyes. “Is there a lizard people future?”

“Only if we mess something up. The future actually gets taken over by Time Baby, and it's pretty much every bad dystopian novel you've ever read.” He shrugged. “But we don’t have to worry about that.”

Wirt bit down on his lower lip, but nodded even as his worries only mounted. The only dystopian novels he’d read were 1984 and The Giver so he didn’t have much to go off of in that department. So yeah, a little worried still. Especially since the creature lumbering towards them began to take shape. 

Two curved tusks and a long nose were the more prominent features, though the closer it ventured, the more noticeable its thick coat of fur became. “Is that a mammoth?” Wirt’s voice cracked in the middle of his question.

“That... That definitely looks like a mammoth.” Though he was starting to shiver from the cold, he grinned. He loved this area, no matter the time period. “I think it has three eyes. Do you see three eyes? What is with this town, I swear.”

“Three eyes?” As if just being a regular woolly mammoth wasn’t bad enough on it’s own, it had to have three eyes. “Yep. Yes, that’s- those are three- three eyes alright,” Wirt stammered as it turned to face them, blinking it’s three eyes out of sync. Still holding tight to Dipper’s sleeve, Wirt tugged on it again when felt his boyfriend’s shivers through it. “We- we should really leave, Dipper…”

The mammoth stopped and raised its tusks to the air, bellowing out a call through its trunk that echoed over the snow and into the trees. When it lowered its head it made sure the tusks were pointed straight out, the third eye smack dab in the center of its forehead staring at them. From behind them, another mammoth answered the call.

“Um… Dipper?”

“Yeah, yep. Leaving.” He let go of the tape, skipping them forward as it charged. They ended up in tall grasses, the snow having long since melted. Dipper blew out a relieved sigh. They still weren’t in the right time, but he couldn’t pull the tape out as long as it needed to go without hurting one of them. “So... that was the ice age. Probably.” He kicked the toe of his shoe against the ground to dislodge snow. “I shot us forward a little bit, and I think there should just be two or three more skips and we'll be back to normal.”

A shiver traveled its way along Wirt’s spine as the warm air and chill in his bones warred with one another. “Okay,” he managed to breathe, paranoia getting the better of him as he quickly looked around. “This… this looks different from Gravity Falls. We’re not in a valley.”

“Yeah.” He bounced a little, tapping the thick trunk of a tree near them. “This must be before the aliens crash-landed.”

Wirt turned to stare blandly at his boyfriend. “You know, I’m starting to reach the point where I can't tell if you're serious or just trying to mess with me because both seem equally probable.”

“No, it's- That's actually a thing?” Dipper smiled, belatedly remembering that aliens were yet another very weird thing about this very weird town. “There's an old spaceship under Gravity Falls that Grunkle Ford and I scavenge through sometimes. I mean, he and Old Man McGucket did a lot when they were first researching, but there's still a ton down there. I've been working on cracking their language when I have time. It seems math based.”

Wirt stared at him for a beat, then took a deep breath and accepted it. “Right. Um. Is that the jumble of symbols that's on one of your boards in your room?”

“Yeah. I'll figure it out eventually.” Dipper reached out to take his hand. “I know it's a lot to take in. I'm not really... I know I'm not a lot of help, but I'm trying? I've lived with it for years, so I kind of forget what it's like to just be learning everything. And the whole concept of aliens and paranormal things is way easier when you're a twelve year old who already believes in all of it.”

Wirt glanced at his hand, slowly dragging his gaze up to meet Dipper’s as he met him halfway. “No, I know. You don't have to feel bad or anything. I knew what I was getting into for the most part, and you are being patient and helpful. It's just… it's a lot different actually being here than seeing it in a video online.” Wirt swallowed thickly and looked at their feet, a breeze blowing through the grass and ruffling their clothes. “I’m just… worried I’m not cut out for it after all. I’m not adaptable like you. I’m- I just get… stuck.”

“I know this place is... wild. The normal rules just don't exist. I'm not even completely sure that physics works correctly here, but I think I'd have a meltdown if I tried to measure something. So I do get that it's hard to adjust. You’re not in Lakeville, city of lakes, right now.” Dipper laced their fingers. He was in a place where demons could spawn and they could travel through time and talk about aliens. “But... this is my home. This is more home than Piedmont will ever be for me, so I know the rules here. I'll help you learn them too so it won't be about adapting. It's just... living.”

It was about adapting for him though. It always boiled down to his inability to adapt to changes in his life. But this was something he wanted to accept. This was a change he needed to be okay with. If he didn't accept Gravity Falls, then he’d lose Dipper. That was an unspoken fact.

Wirt released a heavy breath and lifted his head to nod, but he froze as his gaze fixated on something beyond his boyfriend. The wind continued to pick up, but it was a warm wind. Almost unusually so, and it probably had something to do with the large, saucer-like, flying something that wasn't so much flying as it was hurtling towards the Earth. 

“You said aliens crash-landed here, right?” 

“Yeah. Like, a million...” Oh, wait. Dipper whirled, eyes rounding as he took in the sight. “That is basically the coolest thing I've ever seen and I've seen dinosaurs.” But it was also coming straight for them to turn this flat land into a valley. “But we should go, yeah. Let's go.” He pulled the tape, trying to calculate a good time to send them to with what clues he had to go with. “Let's see if some pioneer days will be okay.” He released the tape, and they leapt forward in time again.

“Pioneer days, huh?” Wirt squinted as a cloud of dust rose up where they landed, a cough escaping as he waved it away to reveal what was, in fact, pioneer times given the covered wagons rolling by. “Okay. I can… this is a time I can get behind.”

“Yeah. At least there are actually people.” Dipper took his hand, tugging him out of the way. “Just, uh, try not to interact too much with any of them. We don’t want to create too many time anomalies. I don’t know how many times we’ll actually be able to get Blendin out of jail before we become time criminals.”

Wirt gasped and squeezed Dipper’s hand. “Dipper, we’re too young to go to time jail!”

Dipper laughed, stopping to tug him close and press a kiss to his worry-creased brow. “You’re so cute. You’ve got a long way to go before they throw you into time jail. Don’t worry, babe.”

Wirt couldn't even protest the nickname as he tugged Dipper out of the way of a galloping horse and rider. “Do pedestrians not have the right of way here, or what?” 

He scrunched his nose in distaste, then glanced about to see some houses through the trees, not too far off. His worry gave way to wonder as he beheld the log cabins in real time. The original Gravity Falls. 

“Wow,” he breathed, eyes slowly widening. “Those look like… real round log construction! Oh my gosh, Dipper, almost none of these have survived into the modern age. They were like temporary homes, like lean-tos built by the first settlers so they’d have shelter to get through the winter. These were the first vernacular buildings constructed by American colonists in the pacific northwest! You can tell because of the shape of the logs and the chinking that holds them together.” 

Wirt released Dipper’s hand so he could interlock his own fingers, grinning at his boyfriend. “They were first constructed in the 1830s, but by the mid-1860s they were no longer needed because they’d moved on to more permanent structures and settlements.” His eyes lit up. “We should check out some of the other buildings to see if we can date our time period. I can tell the difference between vernacular, federal, classical, and gothic revival. If we see federal revival, then we’ll know it’s after 1845, and if we see any gothic, we’ll know it’s after the 1860s. That way we don’t have to interact with any of the colonists and get thrown in time jail!”

Dipper smiled. “I really love you. You’re too cute, pilgrim. Seriously.” And he could admit to being curious enough to see the early version of the town. It was the right time frame for the town’s founding, though he had no idea if this was before or after the eighth and a half president had encased himself in peanut brittle. “Come on. Let's go look.”

“Should we be sneaky about it?” Wirt asked, walking his fingers through the air as they followed what looked like the path towards town. 

“Mm. To a point. We do need to try and blend in. I have cash that should be worth something in a weird way, depending on the year. So we can use it to grab disguises if need be.” He shrugged. “It probably shouldn't come to that, though.”

“Okay.” Wirt reached for Dipper’s hand instinctively, only hesitating as it hit him that they might not be in an altogether too accepting time period should someone happen to see two young men holding hands in passing. Their fingers brushed and he left it at that, tugging at the hem of his sweater instead. “But we're not going to stay here very long, right? We're just finding our way home.” As fascinated by the old buildings as he was, that didn't mean he was particularly keen on staying longer than strictly necessary. 

“Yeah. I just need a solid time so I can skip us forward the right number of years. Or at least a better overview so I don’t shoot us into the distant future.”

“Well, I’ll try and get us as close as possible.” The closer they got to town, the more houses cropped up. “It looks like they're all vernacular houses. I’m not seeing anything that fits a particular design fad. We must be somewhere in the 1830s or 40s unless the newer buildings are in town.”

“Well, the town founder was elected president in 1837. So we have to be after that since he found Gravity Falls after his impeachment. 1842, actually.” Hopefully the founder was gone.

Wirt hummed. “Well, that definitely narrows down the timeline. I’m seeing some hewn log construction now that we’re getting closer, but doesn’t look like anything federal revival. They usually have a low pitched roof and are perfectly symmetrical. So I’d say we’re between 1842 and 1844. So that’s just a two year gap?” He paused as the year caught up with him, brow furrowing. “Wait, a president was impeached and founded Gravity Falls? But isn’t that statue in town just of a random guy? I didn’t think he was a former president.”

“That's actually just part of The Northwest Cover-Up. Nathaniel Northwest was just a patsy mayor put into place to hide the identity of the eighth and a half president since Quentin Trembley’s a huge national embarrassment. I don’t see how Northwest was any better since he died trying to eat a tree, but...” Dipper shrugged. “Hopefully, Quentin's preserved himself in peanut brittle by now so we won't have to run by him. I'm not sure how that'd affect the timeline.”

Wirt’s interest steadily morphed into more of a flabbergasted expression. “What?”

“Yeah. Apparently, it has life sustaining properties, though I wouldn’t trust that outside of Gravity Falls. Anyway, Mabel and I found him basically just to get revenge on Pacifica for making Mabel feel like she wasn't... y’know, awesome. It was our first Pioneer Day.” Dipper grinned, shrugging again. “He made Mabel a Congressman and gave me a key that'll unlock anything. Maybe. I haven't thoroughly tested it.”

“Oh…” Wirt glanced down, then away at the buildings, a tightness in his chest that reminded him a little of homesickness spreading and sticking to his ribs.  _ Dipper doesn’t care about your stupid architecture fascination, he’s seen and done so many more incredible things than you could ever hope to be. He doesn’t need your help to get back to your timeline. You just look pathetic. That’s all you’ve looked like since you’ve gotten here. He wants to discover things and all you want to do is run and hide. You waste of- _

Wirt tripped on his own shoelace, jarring him out of the sudden onslaught of self-loathing that washed over him. He stopped himself from falling, but had to stumble into the middle of the road to do so, and his timing was impeccable. A horse galloping towards him reared up and whinnied as it discovered the new obstacle in her path. That startled Wirt enough into falling back, as well as caused the horse’s rider to fall face first in the dirt behind her.

“I’m- oh no, I’m sorry,” he babbled, scrambling up off the ground. “I mean- oh no, stop talking to it, Wirt.” The horse snorted at him and pawed at the ground. “Ah! Sorry!”

“Ah-ha! Newcomers!”

“Oh, no,” Dipper breathed, stooping down to help Wirt up. “Come on. We need to try and get away from him.”

“Are we whispering because we have secrets?” the man wondered, stooped down as well.

Wirt jumped at the man’s close proximity, his mustache nearly touching his face when he turned away from Dipper. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t seem to be wearing any pants. “Uh…”

“No secrets here, Mr- Wait. Lord Esquire.” Dipper had no idea how to address him. “Yeah. We're just... here.”

“In such unusual clothing. Are those pants?” He leaned closer. “Were you aware of the war on pants?”

“They're... not pants. I'm wearing jeans, and he's wearing slacks. They're totally different.” Dipper had no idea how to act enough like Mabel, but hoped the lazy excuse would work.

Quentin straightened, rubbing his chin. “What strange, futuristic words. It's almost like you're from the future.” He pointed skyward. “Fascinating!”

“Yeah. Um. Yeah.” He tugged Wirt up. “I mean, no. We're... from this year.” 

“Would people from this year say that?” Wirt asked him under his breath, dusting himself off once he was standing.

“We're between 1838 and 1844, right? So... maybe.” Dipper shifted in front of Wirt, knowing full well that Quentin was harmless despite his insanity, but not willing to take any chances.

“Well, if you say you're from this year, that's good enough for me! Where are your wagons?”

“We walked.”

“From St. Louis?”

Dipper blinked twice. “Yes?”

“Wonderful! I'm sure your feet hurt, so come along, and we shall retire in the parlor!” He hopped back onto his horse, riding it backwards.

Stunned, Wirt watched him for a beat before turning to Dipper. “So, we’re not following him to the parlor, right?”

“No way. That could literally mean anything with Quentin. But you narrowed our timeframe down enough with all your really smart cuteness, so I should be able to...” Dipper frowned, patting his pockets. “Oh my god, I think he stole the time machine.”

“_What_?” Wirt scanned the ground around them quickly to see if it had fallen out of his pocket when he’d crouched down, but found nothing. “What, did he just pick your pocket or something? Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s insane? To make sure we’d go with him? Maybe it fell out of my pocket and he picked it up thinking it was a toy.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “If he pulls the tape, we’re doomed. Blendin’s going to back to time jail and we’re probably going to risk busting him out again and, oh my god, why did Mabel have to take his time machine today?”

“If he pulls the tape, then it’ll leave this time period with him…” Paling quickly, Wirt clutched his sweater over his heart. “Would anyone be able to find us here?” He couldn’t get stuck in another time, in the past, he’d miss Greg growing up, he’d miss everything.

“The time squad? I mean, they’d have to pick us up. We literally don’t belong in this time. Plus, they’d have to get Quentin back here anyway.” Even though getting lost in time was a definite possibility, he didn’t want his boyfriend to worry about it. “We just need to reach Quentin before he pulls the tape. Come on, babe.” Neverminding the time period, Dipper grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction the former president had gone.

It didn’t take long to find him. As they reached what appeared to be the start of the town square, Quentin Trembley and his horse galloped right in front of them. They skidded to a stop to avoid being hit, watching as the horse ran around the center of town in a wide circle with the former president demanding that Sophia listen to reason and take a right turn- no her other right. 

Wirt garnered that Sophia must’ve been the horse. “Oh, well… guess that was easier than I expected.” He rubbed the back of his neck as horse completed another circuit. “How do we get them to stop?”

“Very carefully.” Dipper watched the horse make another circle, gasping when he saw the time machine in the center of her path. “Okay. Ah...” He thought quickly, gaze darting about the area in search of anything was around that could help. Townsfolk were going to be attracted to the scene soon enough, and they wanted to avoid being seen by them. But there were just pioneer homes and an unsteady looking fence penning a mixture of cows and horses. “I guess we try the old-fashioned way,” he decided and stuck two fingers in his mouth to whistle, loud and clear.

The horse stopped, thankfully, sending her rider flying. Unfortunately, Quentin flew straight into the animal pen, spooking the creatures within into leaping or just plain trampling the fence in their haste to flee. “Oh. Uh. Probably should've timed that better, but wait here.” He had to get to the time machine before it could get trampled, so bolted for it while the herd thundered straight for him.

Wirt gaped at Dipper in horror. His boyfriend was an idiot. “_Dipper_! Oh my gosh-” Gauging the distance between Dipper and the animals and the speed at which they were running- oh, who cared about the exact calculations, there was no way he was making it out of there unscathed. Dipper was going to be  _ crushed_.

A snort alerted Wirt to the presence of Quentin’s horse. She backed away from the galloping herd, tossing her head as she got closer to him. Wirt’s heart leapt into his throat as an idea flickered into his head, but it was his only shot. Climbing onto a stretch of fence closest to the mare, Wirt took a deep breath and jumped onto her back. 

The horse whinnied and reared up, but Wirt clutched her mane tightly and squeezed his thighs around her body. “Sophia- uh, Sophia, giddy-up, okay? Um, hee yah!” He tugged her in the direction he wanted her to go and kicked his heels into her side.

She started into a gallop, Wirt holding on with both hands until they were closer to Dipper. His boyfriend had the tape measure, but there was literally nowhere for him to go. The stampeding animals were seconds away from trampling him, Wirt’s heart hammering hard and fast as he leaned over and reached out. He had one shot at this. He hooked his arm up under Dipper’s from behind and swung him up, adrenaline fueling his strength to get him up and on the horse and away from danger. With his free hand, Wirt pressed on the horse’s neck to get her turn sharply, her own instincts encouraging her to get as far from the herd as possible.

Dipper clutched his boyfriend’s sweater, heart racing and eyes wide as they evaded the herd and came to a stop in the woods. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “Oh my god, you- You can ride horses?! And you just- oh my  _ god_, Wirt!”

“Oh my god,  _ me_? Oh my god, you! You- you can’t just run into the middle of a stampede, what were you thinking? I mean, I know what you were thinking because we had to get the tape measure, but seriously? You could’ve been killed! By cows!” Wirt twisted around so he could wrap his arms around Dipper and squeeze him tightly. “That’s a stupid way to die!”

“Yeah, well, I was planning on using the tape to skip forward a few minutes - long enough to, like, be out of the way, but-” Dipper cupped his cheeks, pressing their lips together on an eager sound. “That was seriously really hot, wow.”

Panic cut off by the kiss, Wirt blinked at him, a little stunned. “What- really?”

“Babe, you hopped up on a freaking horse and yanked me onto it to save my life from a stampede. How is that  _ not _ hot? I didn’t even know you knew how to ride a horse, and-” Dipper flailed his hands, one still clutching the time machine. “Yeah, really!”

A light flush dusted Wirt’s cheeks as he soaked up his enthusiasm. “Oh, I… well, when you put it like that. I actually don’t know how though, I just pretend.” It hadn’t been the first time, and he was starting to suspect that it wouldn’t be the last.

“Well, you’re really good at pretending. So good that I’m willing to bet that you can actually do it. I really love you.” Dipper laughed, kissing him again.

Wirt sank into it, cupping and caressing Dipper’s cheek as he savored his boyfriend’s warmth and let it soothe the last of his fears. “I really love you, too. I’m glad you’re okay.” He slid off the horse first, offering his hand to Dipper to help him down. 

“You made sure of it.” Dipper took his hand, thumb caressing the back once he was back on solid ground. “I’m sorry I dragged you into time travel. I really- I wanted a day here to be normal for you, but... yeah.”

Wirt shook his head. “No, I know you did, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault, it was just an accident.” He glanced down at their hands, fitting their fingers together. “And you know… we did get to see some pretty cool stuff when you look at it in retrospect. I mean, a three-eyed mammoth? A UFO crashing into the earth to create the valley we’re standing in now? A pioneer town untouched by the modern age and houses I thought had all been torn down because they were impractical? That’s… not everyone gets to see things like that.” Wirt squeezed his hand. “You certainly know how to make a guy feel special. Unless you take all your dates on time traveling adventures,” he teased.

“Only the ones who care enough to save my life. Only the ones I love more than anything in the world. Only the ones who can tell a time period based on buildings and look so freaking adorable sharing their knowledge. So only ones named Wirt Palmer.” Leaving his hand in Wirt’s, he used his teeth to pull the tape and let it snap them into the future.

This point of time at least sounded right, the carnival in the distance with them still in the woods. But they could both just see the top of a house that wasn’t supposed to be in this part of the woods. They were in the gnome part, weren’t they? “Oh, man. I think I might’ve shot us too far forward. Hopefully the Shack hasn’t, like, blown over by a strong wind or something and we can sneak in to find the date.”

“Well, if your Grunkle Stan is still setting up the carnival in the same place, then I can’t imagine that something happened to it,” Wirt mused, stilling as the sound of footsteps rustling in the woods could be heard. “I think someone’s coming,” he whispered.

“Yeah, but if it’s the gnomes-” That was not the gnomes. That was... that was himself. It was very weird to hear his own laugh, but it was definitely himself coming into view, walking backwards to talk to whoever was with him. He still had the hat, though the white seemed actually white and not perpetually on the grimy side. Was it new?

“Okay,” the future Dipper was saying, “but we both know  _ this _ is a million times safer than the carnival, no matter how many times I make adjustments to those rides.”

Wirt swallowed his gasp and grabbed his boyfriend so they could duck down out of sight. He didn’t know much about time travel, but knew enough that future and present Dipper probably shouldn’t interact. Of course, the two of them could still see this future Dipper, watching him from behind a bush, and Wirt was a little in awe of how the same and different he managed to be.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That’s… that’s really you…” The person with his future boyfriend might have laughed, it was hard to tell, but whoever it was was definitely a guy. 

Wirt couldn’t help bristling a bit, lips pursed as he exchanged glances with Dipper. Sure, they didn’t know how far in the future they’d gone, and it wasn’t like… it wasn’t like high school romances could last forever, though he was determined to try his hardest and they had college ahead of them and they could make it work. But still, the thought of Dipper with someone else in the future...

“You can’t take all the credit. You and I both know Soos makes most of the adjustments.” The person with Dipper came into view, carrying a picnic basket, but his voice had really given him away before that, no matter how much older it sounded.

“Oh my gosh…” Wirt’s jaw dropped as he watched himself swing the basket forward to playfully nudge future Dipper.

It was embarrassing and awful and Dipper would never admit to it, but he had to cover his mouth to help hide a stupid squeal of excitement. It was them. It was  _ both _ of them! He didn’t know how far yet they’d gone either, but it was still the future, it was still them, and - holy crap - they were  _ adults_. They were in Gravity Falls, together, as adults.

“Most of the time, sure, but he had little Stan following him around with an equally little screwdriver. I had to double-check all of the adjustments.” Future Dipper grabbed the basket and tugged future Wirt close for a quick kiss. “You should be just so grateful that I had an idea that would take us away from any potential fires. Just like I’m just so grateful that you were so sweet and packed lunch.”

Future Wirt grinned, rubbing their noses together. “Just also trying to keep us away from potential fires.”

“I think he means you still don’t know how to cook,” Wirt whispered, wide-eyed and still in quiet awe of the way the two of them were together. So easy and still in love and… and they’d come back to Gravity Falls. Wirt had decided to come back, had decided that he could handle all of the weirdness, and Dipper… Dipper still thought he could, too.

“Why should I when you can do it for me?” Dipper asked, tucking his arm around Wirt’s waist to pull him close. His boyfriend was still with him, still staying for all his weirdness. “You’re still really, seriously adorable in the future. You’re still mine.”

“I’m still wearing a sweater in the summertime.” Wirt choked on a giggle, almost unable to believe it. “Oh my gosh, Dipper. I’m still with you. You still want me. And we’re… we look  _ happy_.” He’d thought he was happy now, and he was, but the man he’d become someday had a different sort of glow about him, one that he shared with the man beside him.

Wirt turned to wrap Dipper up in a warm embrace, clinging to him as he nuzzled his neck. They were happy and they’d stayed together. It truly was a dream come true, something that Wirt had complete faith in during the months they were apart and only had shaken for the past week, but not because of the two of them. The two of them could make it. They could make it through anything.

“I love you so much. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult, but I’ll try harder,” Wirt promised. “I will. You’re worth it.  _ We’re _ worth it.”

Dipper curled his fingers into Wirt’s sweater, clinging to him. “It’s okay. I- I get it. I do. But, oh my god, you’re still with me. We’re still together. We’re- You’re mine. You’re mine, and I’m yours.” Wirt stayed with him. Wirt returned to Gravity Falls. They’d made it.

There was a white flutter that caught his eye, Dipper reluctantly drawing back to grab what turned out to be a small paper airplane. Their future selves had settled in the little clearing, snuggled together on a blanket one of them had thrown down. He unfolded the airplane, lips curving at his own virtually unaltered handwriting, and passed it to Wirt.

_ Ten years too far. Go straight back. No more detours. _

_ Also, every single year has been worth it even when moments are hard and secret secrets have to be shared. _

_ That’s all you get to avoid the lizard overlord future. Go home and hang out with the outliers. :) _

“Is this still legal in the eyes of time law?” Wirt had to ask, though his heart was fluttering at the message from the future.

“Debatable, but if they’re letting it slide, so are we.” Dipper grinned, glancing back at their future selves. He was pretty sure he saw a glint of white gold on his ring finger before his left hand finished wrapping around the other man’s waist, and he was also pretty sure that the move was totally calculated. And very not legal in the eyes of time law. His heart swelled, though, several fears soothed when he looked back at Wirt. “Want to go home and hang out with the outliers?”

“Yes please.” Wirt folded up the note carefully and tucked it in his pocket before taking Dipper’s hand. “But can we still ride that tunnel of love first? Minus the accidental time traveling bit.”

“Pssh. I didn’t spend hours on it so we could skip out. Come on, my poetic pilgrim.” He pulled the tape out to ten. “Let’s get back to our summer, so we can have this one in a decade.”

“That sounds like a plan I can get behind.” Wirt leaned in to kiss him as the tape snapped back and they vanished from the summer of 2026.

The Wirt of 2026, however, toyed with the hand that had settled against his waist, specifically with the ring on that hand’s ring finger. “Really?” Wirt lifted an eyebrow, though his lips quirked in amusement. “Don’t you think that was a little much?”

“Absolutely, but I did it anyway.” Dipper sighed, dropping his head to his husband’s shoulder. “That me’s going to need to know he’s got this to look forward to come winter break. And maybe I was bragging a little because, come on, you’re still adorable.”

“Pfft. Right back at you.” Wirt brushed his lips over the pine tree emblem on his hat. “And I know. I hope… I hope this helps you. I know it helped me.”

“It helps me.” In more ways than he could say. He lifted his free hand to study it. “And we’re still here, so we still get through it. No major time anomalies, babe. Go us.” Dipper sat up, shifting to straddle Wirt’s lap and press their lips together. “We got through a lot in ten years, and I’m really looking forward to the rest of the decades we’ve got in store.”

“Me too, kitten.”

**Author's Note:**

> A note from skimmingthesurface: This is the only MBF 'verse fic I had planned for Pinescone Week 2019, unfortunately. It's one of two that I collaborated with Syl on for this week, though she also plays a huge role in the development of one of the universes that we'll be exploring in several of the fics. Glad I could kick this week off with a bang though! Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Also come say hi on Tumblr, [@skimmingmilk](https://skimmingmilk.tumblr.com/) or [@stephanieprime](https://stephanieprime.tumblr.com/)! I post updates on my original works there as well as answer questions about my fics and writing process!


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